


Cigarettes and Strawberries

by MissRebelAndHerRoses



Series: Strawberries and Cigarettes Series [1]
Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Romance, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-02 01:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14533917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissRebelAndHerRoses/pseuds/MissRebelAndHerRoses
Summary: They say when you fall in love that everything will be alright and everything will fall into place. They say falling in love is painless, fearless, and freeing. They say that when you find the one you’re meant to be with, they’ll be with you no matter what. What a crock of steaming shit….It all started in 1983 when a blue haired punk stepped into my life and fucked it up royally.





	1. Blue

**Author's Note:**

> New story! Let me know what you think and if I should continue!

Chapter 1: Blue

They say when you fall in love that everything will be alright and everything will fall into place. They say falling in love is painless, fearless, and freeing. They say that when you find the one you’re meant to be with, they’ll be with you no matter what. What a crock of steaming shit….

It all started in 1983 when a blue haired punk stepped into my life and fucked it up royally.

Axl had grown up knowing nothing but pain, heartache, and tough situations. Which is exactly why Axl hadn’t given up as he paced in a trashed apartment with Izzy (his then boyfriend), Slash, and Steven who sat watching him and wondering how they would afford their next meal. Slash and Izzy had just gotten back from meeting with some kid from Seattle who called himself Duff, who was supposed to be arriving soon to audition for their band. Axl wasn’t sure what he could expect from a punk named Duff, but if Izzy and Slash had decided he was good enough to show the rest of the band his skills, then who was he to judge? 

“All I’m saying, is to give him a chance Axl.” Izzy sighed quietly, exhaling smoke from a cigarette as he pulled the pacing redhead to sit in his lap.

“He’s a punk. We aren’t punk.” Axl responded as he relaxed slightly into the brunette’s hold, though he continued to fidget a bit. 

“If you don’t like him then we don’t have to let him in the band.” Slash spoke from the other side of the apartment, turning his attention from the magazine he’d been looking at to the couple sitting on the couch.

“Fine, he gets one song.” Axl responded, crossing his arms.

A few minutes passed before they heard a knock on the door, causing Axl to move from the comfort of his boyfriend’s hold and allow Izzy to answer the door. He paced uneasily in the background as he heard the door down the hall open and a deep voice greet Izzy.

“This is Duff.” Izzy announced as he walked back into the living room followed by a slim, blue haired…man? It caused Axl to pause and stare at the new male in the room with a look of uncertainty. Duff stood there with a friendly smile that only made his delicate features more feminine and soft. He’d never seen anyone quite like Duff.

After a couple of hours of playing together and Duff showing exactly what he could do on his bass, it was time for the band to come to a vote. Slash and Steven were fast to vote yes. Izzy had hesitated a moment, not liking the way Axl watched Duff, but eventually had said yes. Leaving Axl as the deciding vote. It had to be unanimous or Duff wouldn’t be in the band.

“You get one chance. Fuck it up, and you’re out. You play by our style, got it?” Axl said, green eyes meeting Duff’s dark hazel.

“Got it.” Duff nodded and offered a smile. “Absolutely. I won’t let you down.”

“Good, then it’s settled…Now let’s go out.” Slash said as he moved to his feet and tossed on a ripped tank top. Of course, this suggestion was met with agreement from all the men in the room.

So, they headed to the Troubadour for drinks and to see that night’s band play. The group found a place to sit towards the back of the bar and ordered drinks, Izzy going to retrieve the drinks when they were placed on the bar. It wasn’t long before they had enough alcohol in their systems to party.

Steven disappeared with a curvy brunette outside while Slash found himself chasing after a tall blonde in a tight skirt. Izzy remained where he was despite Axl’s urging him to dance and Duff sitting there watching the couple.

“Do you want to dance?” Duff finally asked the redhead when he noticed his annoyance with Izzy was growing and he was growing restless. Duff almost regretted the question when Axl looked at him with a surprised look.

“I’m not a fag, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Axl put the same old front up he always had, his eyes growing dark and dangerous.

“I never said you were. There are plenty of dudes dancing together out there, it’s not like I’m asking you to slow dance.” Duff rolled his eyes and stood, nodding towards the dancing. “Come on.”

Axl looked to Izzy who seemed as though he couldn’t care less…As always. Axl then turned to Duff and nodded before sliding out of the booth and following Duff to the dance floor. 

“So, what’s the deal with you and Izzy? Are you brothers or something?” Duff questioned loudly above the music and moving close to Axl so he could be heard, Axl laughed.

“Not brothers.” Axl responded, offering no more explanation to his relationship with Izzy and not caring to talk about it anymore as watched Izzy stumble out of the club with a random girl; he downed his drink and took Duff’s. The pair danced as Axl drank…and drank…and drank until he was clinging to Duff to remain standing, his small frame pressed against the slim and tall punk.

It wasn’t long before Axl turned a shade of gray and gagged and Duff was pulling him towards the backdoor of the club and out into the alley just in time for Axl to throw the contents of his stomach up. He moved the redhead to a chair that sat forgotten next to a dumpster and used a rubber band on his wrist to tie the smaller male’s hair up.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Duff said as he patted the man’s back, chuckling lightly until he noticed…tears?

“Axl? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Duff asked in a more serious tone, concerned for his new bandmate.

“Fuck off.” Came the raspy reply as the redhead turned his back to the punk, stomach settling for now.

“What happened? We were having fun.” Duff frowned but didn’t dare to move any closer to the redhead.

“I said fuck off.” Axl’s voice was dangerously calm now but it didn’t faze Duff. 

“It’s Izzy…Isn’t it?” It was making sense now, the brunette leaving with a random girl and Axl suddenly drinking heavily and refusing to talk.

“It’s none of your goddamn business.” Axl turned to Duff, trying to look dangerous only to feel his stomach churn. Duff moved Axl’s long, red hair from the range of vomit as he sighed. So, it was Izzy.

“Let’s get you home.” Duff said as he pulled Axl to his feet, steadying the redhead. 

“No. Not home, I don’t want to hear them fucking.” Axl groaned as he stumbled, clinging to Duff which caused Duff to stumble a bit. 

“We can’t just stay here in the streets.” Duff tried to reason with the redhead but soon found Axl was having no part in going to his home.

“Take me to your place.” Axl finally decided as he tripped and yelped in surprise when Duff caught him.

“It’s across town…You can’t even walk.” 

“I don’t care.” Axl wasn’t going home.


	2. Morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duff struggles to find his footing in the band.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey,  
> Sorry for taking so long to update! It's been crazy lately with starting a new job and my apartment flooding! But I'm back and hopefully I can post a couple of chapters tonight/tomorrow. Sorry this chapter kind of sucks, but it's building up to some better things...I promise!   
> As always, feel free to review and tell me what you think! Or you can give me suggestions on where you'd like to see this go!

The next morning Axl woke to the sound of someone humming. For a moment he wondered where the fuck he was, but the second he saw blue hair he remembered. Duff.  
“Morning sleeping beauty.” Duff smirked as he handed Axl an aspirin for his head and a glass of water to down it with.  
“Shut the fuck up. Why am I here?” Axl groaned after taking what was offered to him.  
“I tried to take you home, you refused, and there was no way I was staying in that alley.” Duff shrugged as he stood and moved to the kitchen to retrieve his cup of coffee.   
“I better get going, thanks for the aspirin.” Axl said as he pulled his boots on and stood.  
“Do you want coffee?” Duff questioned as he watched Axl hurrying for the door.  
“No.” And with that, Axl closed the door behind him and left Duff standing in his kitchen.  
Duff shrugged it off and sipped his own coffee, moving to take a seat at the small island. The previous night had left Duff with more questions than answers about the band he’d blindly agreed to join. The most worrying of these questions; what would happen to the band if they started to make it big and Izzy and Axl broke it off? Would they just have abandoned their projects? Or would some sense of professionalism exist?   
Running a hand through his blue hair, Duff sipped his coffee again and leaned back with a silent sigh. What had he gotten himself into?   
Before he could dwell on whatever thoughts were about to pop into his head, the phone across the room rang, startling Duff. He stood and took a few long strides across the room before picking up the phone.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, this is Duff?” Duff recognized the voice to belong to Slash.  
“Yeah, man. What’s up?”   
“It’s Slash, I was wondering if you’d seen Axl leave with someone last night or if he’d told you were he was going. He didn’t come home last night and—”  
“He didn’t leave with anyone last night. He crashed at my place after getting shitfaced and refusing to go home.” Duff responded, shifting his weight from his right foot to his left.  
“Okay, cool. Is he still there?”  
“Nah, he left a minute ago. Everything okay?” Duff could hear the change in Slash’s tone as he asked about Axl’s whereabouts.  
“Yeah, man. Just wondered where he was, we have band practice in a couple hours. Do you know the big empty warehouse just off the Strip?”  
“Yeah.”  
“That’s where we’ll be. See ya.” Slash grinned over the phone before hanging up.  
Figuring he could probably catch up with Axl, Duff pulled on his converse, turned the coffee pot off, grabbed the bass case, and left the apartment. As he walked down the road, he caught sight of long red hair and jogged to catch up.  
“Hey, Ax! Wait up!” Duff said as he neared the singer.  
“Don’t tell me you’re some stalker who watches men while they sleep and then follows them around.” Axl groaned in fake annoyance.  
“Oh, you caught me.” Duff laughed and playfully nudged his newfound friend. “Slash called to let me know about band practice and I figured I could catch up to you before you got too far.”   
“Practice?” Axl groaned genuinely. “I’ve got a fucking awful hangover.”  
“Maybe we can get through it fairly quickly.” Duff shrugged as he shoved his hands in his pockets.  
There was a long moment of silence before Axl spoke up again.  
“Look, man. About Izzy and I…It’s not what you think it is…I’m not a fag.” Axl spoke uncomfortably.  
“It is what it looks like though. Why else would you have gotten so bent out of shape over him leaving with that girl? Nothing wrong with being in love, no matter who it is.”  
“I don’t think you could call it love…More of a convenience type deal. Just don’t go around telling everyone.”  
“Your secret is safe with me.” Duff smiled. “If it isn’t love then why stick around through all of the pain he seems to inflict?”  
“It’s a mutual thing. He gets me angry, I get him angry, and repeat. Never thought much about it.” Axl shrugged.   
“Well I’m here to talk if you need it, I’ve been told I give some pretty great advice.” Duff grinned at the red head who rolled his eyes.  
“Oh yeah, that advice about having another shot of vodka to avoid puking really worked.” Axl let out a soft laugh.  
“Look, man. It works for me, not my fault you’re a lightweight.” Duff laughed and earned a playful push from Axl.  
“I’m not a fucking lightweight. You’re just a fucking giant with an alcohol dependency.” Axl decided and crossed his arms with a playful glare.  
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But I don’t remember you complaining about the vodka when I tried to stop you from taking a third shot after I gave you the advice to have just one.”  
“Fuck off.” Axl laughed along with his newfound friend.  
The two engaged in small talk and joked around until they eventually arrived at the warehouse.  
“Aye! Glad to see you two survived last night!” Steven grinned as he opened the door to let the pair in. “It was fucking wild last night!”   
“Where the fuck did you go?” Izzy asked, ignoring Duff and glaring at Axl.  
“I went home with Duff.” Axl shrugged, leaving the meaning of his words up to interpretation. “Don’t worry about it.”  
“Let’s not fight today. Duff has a lot to catch up on and we have a lot of work to get done.” Slash said as he worked on hooking up all the amps and sound systems properly. “I managed to get some of the chords of our songs written down for you, Duff.”  
Duff pulled his attention away from the quietly arguing couple to Slash. “Thanks man. I’ll work on them.”  
“Don’t worry about them, they’re fine.” Slash said as he followed Duff’s eyes to the redhead. “Axl can handle himself, believe me.”  
“They can still play while arguing, right? I don’t want to get up to play a gig and one of them storm off.” Duff stated as he looked at Slash.  
“Most of the time.” Slash shrugged and looked back down to the cords he was working to untangle. “Just don’t get involved, it’s easier to let them fight it out.” Duff nodded and moved to remove his bass from its case and assist Slash in setting up their practice area.   
Practice started off rocky so none of the band (Duff aside) were too surprised when a fight broke out between Izzy and Axl. But as Duff went to step in, Slash caught him by the arm and shook his head. It wasn’t long before Axl was thrown to the ground and Izzy was storming out. Axl moving to his feet shakily, and storming out of the warehouse on the opposite side.  
“Believe me, you don’t want to get in the middle of their fights. I almost lost an eye.” Steven said and laughed a bit. “Crazy motherfuckers.”  
“Should…Should we go talk to them?” Duff asked, still slightly stunned at what had just taken place.  
“Probably, I’ll go talk to Izzy.” Slash said before heading off after the guitarist.   
“I’m not talking to Axl. He’ll beat the shit out of me.” Steven held his hands up and moved back to his drums.   
Duff sighed and set his bass down to go after the fuming redhead. As he exited the warehouse, he found Axl sitting against the outer wall with his knees pulled to his chest.  
“Fuck off, man.” Axl snapped as soon as he heard the door open.  
“I was coming to see if you were okay.” Duff said as he took a seat next to the singer and offered a cigarette.  
“I told you to fuck off.” Axl sighed in defeat as he took the cigarette and used his own lighter to light it.  
“Is every practice like this?” Duff asked as he lit his own cigarette and took a long drag.  
“No. Normally, we’re angels.” Axl rolled his eyes.  
“Are you okay?” Duff tried again after a long moment of silence.   
“Yeah. Just got me in the face pretty good.” Axl said as he dabbed at his bloody lip. “I hope he looks fucking worse, I think I got his nose ring.”   
“Why do you even bother sticking around him? You clearly are done with one another.” Duff spoke trying to reason with the man, hoping perhaps he could talk sense into the singer and they could finally have peace.   
“Nobody else has come along.” Axl shrugged and stomped the last bit of his cigarette out.   
“Dude, there’s a thing called a groupie,” Duff laughed a bit and gently nudged Axl.  
“Yeah, yeah. But have you seen them?” He made a face and laughed.  
After talking for a while, Duff managed to persuade Axl to come back inside and try to get through the few songs they had on the agenda to practice. Duff wasn’t sure if he could handle the drama of the band, but he was hoping if he stuck it out long enough things would pay off.  
Besides, what’s rock n’ roll without a little drama and violence?


	3. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changes occur in hearts and attitudes...But most importantly in Duff's Smurf hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is more Duff/Axl bonding. My plan is not for Axl to cheat on Izzy, for those of you worried! Axl is loyal. He's just a little confused because Duff is beautiful. I mean, who wouldn't be a little attracted to young blond Duff?

In the weeks following the fall out between Axl and Izzy, things were surprisingly calm. Axl found himself relieved to hear that Izzy had decided to take a roadtrip back to Indiana to visit family. He’d been avoiding Izzy like the plague; instead choosing to spend his time in the company of his new bandmate. Duff was cool, artsy…Different. It was refreshing to have someone he could have intense and deeply intellectual conversations. 

“Look, all I’m saying is blue hair makes you look like a punk and we aren’t a punk band.” Axl said, propped up on Duff’s couch as he watched the bass player let out a laugh from the kitchen where he was reheating pizza in the oven.

“And what color hair do you suggest I have?” Duff rose a brow as he looked to Axl.

“Have you ever considered blond?” Axl said after a moment of thought.

“No fucking way.” Duff shook his head and placed the reheated pizza on plates for each of them.

“I mean it! You’d look a lot better with blond hair. Plus, your roots are showing.” Axl stated matter-of-factly and shrugged as he took the plate offered to him and glanced to the movie playing on the TV.

“Why can’t I keep it brown then?”

“Because brown isn’t as eye catching as blond. Don’t you want the girls?” Axl grinned as he took a bite of pizza.

“The groupies? Eh, maybe.” Duff shrugged as he shoved Axl’s legs off the couch so he could take a seat. 

“What? None of them have caught your eye? What about that one…What’s her—Laura! What about her? She seems to have her eye on you.”

“Not interested.” Duff said, shifting a bit.

“Why not? She’s hot!” Axl laughed a bit.

“Not my type.” Duff shrugged, before changing the subject. “What movie is this?”

“Godfather.” Axl stated before continuing his train of thought. “What is your type? You’ve never even glanced twice at the girls that throw themselves at you.”

“Not exactly interested in girls.” Duff stated calmly, hoping Axl’s view of him didn’t change too drastically.

“Oh. Well that figures.” Axl shrugged and nudged Duff playfully. “No wonder you can’t keep your eyes off me.”

“Oh yeah, absolutely.” Duff responded sarcastically and flicked his friend with a soft laugh. “Just don’t go around spreading the news.” 

“What that you’re gay? Or that you’re helplessly in love with me?” Axl teased.

“Shut up, asshole.” Duff laughed and smack Axl on the back of the head.

“Ow you fucker!” Axl yelped and smacked Duff in the back of the head twice as hard, only causing Duff to laugh more. 

The night progressed with discussion of song ideas, pizza, and alcohol. Once the pair were thoroughly drunk, Axl decided it was time to make a change.

“I’m going to dye your hair.” Axl announced as he looked to Duff with a drunken grin. “Where’s the bleach for the blue dye?”

“Under the sink. It’s a good thing I’m fucking drunk, or you would not be getting your way right now.” Duff said as he lit a cigarette.

Axl disappeared into the bathroom to retrieve the hair dye grabbing a stool from the bar to put in the bathroom before coming to get Duff. Grabbing his hand, he pulled the larger male up to his feet and into the bathroom. After some drunken slurring of directions, Axl began his work on Duff’s hair. After applying the bleach and allowing it to sit, Axl excused himself for Duff to wash his hair before reentering when Duff had put his pants back on.

“You’re going to look badass.” Axl decided as he dried Duff’s hair with a towel. “It’s a lot fucking better than that dead Smurf you had.” Axl grinned.

“Shut the fuck up.” Duff laughed and poked Axl’s stomach.

“Turn and look for yourself.” Axl hummed proudly as he stepped to the side and allowed Duff to turn and look at himself in the mirror.

“Holy. Fucking. Hell.” Duff managed out as he caught sight of his hair. It actually looked…Amazing. 

“Now you won’t look like Smurf the Punkette. You actually look cool enough to be in our band.” Axl teased as he took a swig of his beer.

“You think so?” Duff smirked and stole Axl’s beer, downing the rest of it. 

“Fuck yeah.”

Axl wouldn’t deny that Duff looked even more stunning with blond hair, it accented his fair skin perfectly. Duff truly looked fucking godlike. Like a true Rockstar.

Duff caught Axl staring and rolled his eyes as he waved his hand in front of his friend’s face.

“Earth to Axl?”

“Sorry, I’m drunk.” Axl laughed and slapped Duff’s hand away. 

“It’s cool, man. You wanna crash here?” Duff asked, earning a nod from Axl. “Great, I’ll get you some blankets. I’m gonna pass the fuck out soon.”

Once both rockers were settled in their respective sleeping areas, Axl sighed softly as he heard Duff in the other room begin to snore. The thoughts of the long blond hair still   
fresh in his mind, he couldn’t help but smile. Duff had proven himself to be a true friend in the last few weeks, had really been there for him. But deep down, Axl knew that Duff meant more to him than he’d let on even to himself. 

Duff was a cool punk from Seattle with a confidence about him that radiated through the entire room, lighting it up effortlessly with a simple smile. His laugh brought music to even the most silent and bleak situations. His voice could chase away any sense of panic anybody had. And those /eyes/. Those eyes could make anyone melt and feel butterflies in their stomach. 

Duff was totally out of reach for someone like Axl. He was too stable, too nice. So being friends would be okay with Axl.  
It had to be. He wouldn’t cheat on Izzy, no matter what the cheating bastard did to him. It just wasn’t in his nature to cheat on someone he cared for. 

Axl turned to his side and pulled the blanket up to his chin before closing his eyes.

God he was drunk.

These insane thoughts would pass in the morning. 

Right?


	4. He's Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things head south...Sort of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in response, life has been SUPER hectic! But I'm back and with newly found muse!  
> As always, please review and let me know what you guys and gals think!

Chapter 4: He’s Back

When Axl woke the next morning, Duff was already up and making coffee…As usual. The redhead groaned as he felt the consequences of the previous night’s alcohol set in.

“What time is it?” Axl asked as he pulled the covers over his head in an attempt to block out the blinding light that was causing his headache to throb unbearably.

“Quarter past eleven. Here’s some asprin and water.” Duff said as he pushed Axl’s legs out of the way and took a seat on the couch, smirking a bit when Axl glared at him after being forced to sit up.

“What’s that look for? Do you enjoy seeing me in pain?” He asked as he took the offered pill and clear glass.

“I’m not that sadistic.” Duff couldn’t help his laugh as he nudged the singer’s knee with his own. “But I was told to get you out of here by noon.”

Axl frowned when he heard the joy seemingly drain from Duff’s voice and turn into that of a more serious tone. What could be so important that Axl had to get out?

“What? Do you have a boy toy coming?” Axl tried to lighten the mood with a joke, glad when he earned a small smile from the blonde and an eyeroll.

“No, you moron.” Duff shook his head. “Slash called, he said Izzy’s back.”

Those words alone were enough to cause Axl’s chest to tighten and the all to familiar dread fill him. He hadn’t expected Izzy back so quickly, he’d figured the raven haired hippy had made a run for the hills and would never return.

“Oh…Well I better get going then.” Axl said quietly as he pulled his boots on. “Better get this over with anyways.”

Once Axl had called a cab and was heading outside, Duff caught the smaller male by the wrist. Axl stopped, surprised, but turned to look at the now blonde male. Time stood still in Axl’s mind for a moment though he was unsure if this was caused by the hangover or dread of what lie waiting for him at his own apartment.

“Be careful, yeah? No more fist fights?” Duff’s voice wasn’t soft but it was softer and more serious than his normal tone. “You two need to talk about it, not fight about it.”

“I’ll be fine.” Axl nodded and gave a light smile to his friend as his wrist was released. “I think it’s time he and I talked anyways, too much shit that can’t be ignored.”

“Glad to see you were listening when I was giving you advice.” Duff chuckled and ruffled the already messy hair on Axl’s head.

“Fuck off.” Axl shoved Duff back. “I’ll call you around later, maybe we can go to the Whiskey?”

“Absolutely.” Duff smiled.

With that, Axl turned on his heel and headed down the steps of the apartment building and outside. Duff found himself watching his friend as he walked off before closing the   
door and moving to plop down on the couch.

Duff found his thoughts unable to leave Axl and if he was honest, Axl hadn’t left his thoughts since the night before when Axl’s eyes had met his for just the briefest moment after his hair had been bleached. Those green eyes had even haunted his dreams. Duff groaned in frustration and ran his hands through his hair. He shouldn’t think like that, he shouldn’t dream like that. Axl was taken and there was nothing Duff could do to change that. No matter how much he wished he could make his move, he would not jeopardize his friendship by giving bad advice to turn Axl and Izzy against one another. 

Meanwhile, Axl was just arriving at his apartment and unlocking the door. Both dread and nerves had filled his being, worried what might go down between he and Izzy. He wasn’t angry anymore, Izzy had been his friend since childhood. He couldn’t stay mad at him, but he couldn’t continue to let himself be miserable in the toxic sexual relationship between them. He wanted to talk, wanted to work things out, wanted to try loving Izzy differently.

“I’m home.” Axl stated as he entered the apartment and found it only occupied by Izzy who sat on the couch, looking uncomfortable and out of place.

“We need to talk.” Izzy said, his onyx eyes trained on his own boots.

“Yeah, I know.” Axl responded and sat down across from Izzy on the coffee table. “Things need to change.”

“I know. The way we treat one another—” Izzy paused for a moment before bringing tear filled eyes to look at Axl. “The way I treat you is not fair to you and I’m so fucking sorry, man. You deserve better.” 

Axl was stunned to see the tears falling from the usually stoic man’s eyes. He’d only seen Izzy cry when they were kids, but not since they’d grown up and left Indiana.   
“I’m sorry too. We got too in over our heads and never laid out what this was meant to be and jealousy got out of control.” Axl said, his hand reaching for his long time friend’s as he fought his own tears.

“Don’t make excuses for me, Axl.” Izzy’s voice was firm as he shook his head. He knew Axl’s natural response after years of abuse was to make excuses for those that had hurt him. He wasn’t going to let Axl do that now, Izzy had been the one that fucked up.

“But—”

“No. Hear me out.” Izzy said as he wiped his tears with his free hand. “I have not treated you the way I promised I would. I told you I loved you and I’d never hurt you, do you remember that?” Izzy paused only long enough for Axl to nod. “I do love you, but I can’t keep doing this and hurting you. I nearly beat you unconscious, Axl. I could have really hurt you.” 

“Izzy, I forgive you for it.” Axl could see where this was going and he didn’t know how he’d be able to handle it. He wasn’t ready to lose him.

“I need to leave for a while, hit the road and clear my head. I need you to move on, let yourself recover.” Izzy hated the words that were leaving his lips when he saw Axl’s eyes now full of tears that were cascading down his cheeks when they became too full.

“Izzy, I love you.” Axl wiped angrily at his tears, he hated crying. “Don’t fucking punish me for getting pissed off. Because that’s what it is, right? You punishing me.” 

Izzy could see the anger swelling up in Axl and he knew it wouldn’t be kept at bay for much longer. 

“I’m sorry, man…Just take care of yourself?” Izzy said as he pulled Axl into a hug only to be shoved away seconds later.

“Get the fuck out, you bastard. Go.” Axl said, his voice shaky from tears and anger as he shook his head in disbelief. 

“Axl…”

“No, leave. Go fuck whoever the hell she is but don’t come crawling back to me when she fucking leaves your sorry ass.” Axl said as he violently shoved Izzy out the door.

“Axl I’m—” Axl slammed the door, turning to press his back against it and sink to the floor, now shocked more than angry.

It had actually happened, Izzy was gone. For the first time since they were children, Izzy wasn’t going to be a part of Axl’s world. He choked back a sob and hugged his knees to his chest, resting his chin on them. He didn’t know what to do, how to really function without Izzy in his life. So, without thinking, he reached for the phone and called the one person he knew he could rely on, Duff.

It hadn’t taken Duff long to figure out what had happened when Axl called him in tears and talking so quickly and tearfully that Duff couldn’t understand him. Axl needed him and Duff wasn’t going to leave him alone, not when he was this upset. Duff didn’t know how he’d gotten to Axl’s apartment so quickly, but he had and as soon as he reached the door he was knocking.

The door opened slowly and a red and puffy eyed redhead peaked out enough from behind the door. The sight of Axl crying wasn’t new, he’d seen him cry while drunk; but seeing him cry while sober was a whole different ordeal. It made Duff’s chest tighten uncomfortably tight and his heart to ache for his friend.

“He fucking left.” Were the first words out of Axl’s mouth as Duff entered the apartment and the door closed. 

“I know.” Duff said, pulling his friend to his chest as his arms wrapped around the singer’s shoulders, a hand resting on the back of Axl’s head. “I’m sorry.” 

Duff didn’t know what had possessed him to hold Axl in such a close fashion other than the fact Axl clearly needed the comfort. The sobs that were shaking the singer’s body were enough of an answer. He’d never seen the older man so distraught over something before. Time passed slowly for Duff as he gently swayed Axl from side to side, speaking soft words of comfort and support as he did so. 

“Sorry if you were busy or something, I just didn’t want to be alone right now.” Axl spoke as he moved away from his friend and wiped at his tears, clearly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I was just watching TV. You’re more important.” Duff smiled gently and nudged his friend who let out a soft laugh.

“I’d hope I’m more important than fucking television.” Axl pushed his friend playfully, the weight on his chest seeming to lift.

“Lets not go drink tonight, lets do something different.” Duff stated as he moved towards Axl’s bedroom. 

“Like what?” Axl rose a brow. “Let me rebound fuck you?” 

“What?! No, you sicko.” Duff laughed and took Axl’s wrist, pulling him down the hall. “I was thinking we could purge your room of Izzy related items. Redecorate.”

“What the fuck, why?” Axl made a face of confusion as he glanced around his room.

“I’m not going to let you come home to a room that reminds you of that asshole. Now start gathering what’s left of his shit.” Duff said as he flopped down on the bed.

“There’s nothing left, can’t we just lay here?” Axl asked as he flopped down next to him.

“I guess we could, if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah, it’ll be nice to have a night of doing nothing.”

There was a long moment of silence before Duff finally turned his head to look at Axl, green eyes already burning into him. “Tell me more about you? If we’re going to do   
nothing, we might as well talk.”

“What do you want to know? There’s not much worth telling.” Axl responded quietly, his gaze moving away from Duff.

“I don’t know…What was it like growing up? What’s your family like? You’ve already heard about my huge-ass family.”

“Well…My dad left not long after I was born.” Axl started slowly, trying to pick his words. “My mom met an asshole named Stephen, two other kids, we went to church a lot, I left.” He summarized.

“Why was he an asshole?” Duff frowned, not liking the way things had been summarized.

“You really have to know?” Axl groaned but sighed when Duff nodded.

“Stephen wasn’t the nicest of inbreeds in Lafayette, Indiana. In fact, I’d say he was probably the meanest. He’d beat the shit out of me over nothing. If I looked at him the wrong way, mess up on reciting a bible verse, anything…He’d lock me in closets for bible study and beat me if I messed up during piano practice.” Axl spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, haunted by his past. “My mother never stood up for me or my siblings, knowing he’d beat her too. The fucker was crazy. Izzy, he was Jeff back then, would try to help me but I couldn’t freeload off of his mom for too long.”

“He was Jeff…What was your name?” Duff questioned, curiously as he realized he knew nothing about his bandmate.

“Bill Bruce Bailey…Until I found out my biological father’s last name was Rose. Then I was William Rose, like my father…Until I decided on Axl.” Axl shook his head and let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t want anything to do with that asshole either…Can we not talk about this?”

“Sure…You never have to do anything you don’t want to, not around me.” Duff said as he turned on his side to face Axl. “I’m sorry you went through all that shit though.”

“It’s alright.” Axl shifted to face the blonde. “You never told me your birth name.”

“Michael Andrew McKagan, nice to meet you.” Duff grinned.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Axl.” Axl chuckled and rolled his eyes. “You’re such a child.”

“But it’s part of my charm.” Duff teased.

The two stayed like that for hours, talking and joking with one another before Axl dozed off during a moment of silence. Duff smiled a bit at Axl’s sleeping form and pulled the blankets up over the smaller man before gently easing himself out of the bed and into the livingroom where Slash was now quietly strumming his guitar.

“Hey man, I didn’t know you were here.” Slash smiled and set his guitar aside. 

“Likewise.” Duff said as he sighed quietly.

“Thanks for being there for Axl, Izzy called and told me what was going on.” Slash said as he lit a cigarette.

“Of course I’m there for him, he’s my best friend.” Duff shrugged and lit his own cigarette.

“You know, I’ve seen how you look at him.” Slash said and smirked. 

“I don’t look at him like anything.” Duff shook his head. “I think you’re just drunk, man.”

“Probably.” Slash laughed.

“I gotta run, I’ll talk to you guys later?” Duff said as he headed for the door. 

“Yeah, we gotta start looking for a new rhythm guitarist. Axl will call you.” Slash nodded.

Duff left the apartment feeling more conflicted than he had when Axl had left his apartment. What was going on with him? He didn’t look at Axl a certain way, did he? They were just friends.

 

Right?


	5. Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two idiots go hiking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long to publish! First I had to write it, then I had work for a week, then I go to upload it and AO3 is down, so finally I get around to uploading it and I get hit with a migraine...BUT I'm here and I'm uploading now! Hopefully I'll be able to upload two chapters tonight to make up for my absence. This chapter is not my best work but it's enough to move the story forward! As always, please feel free to review and tell me what you liked/didn't like about this chapter and/or what you'd like to see! A special thank you to all of those who have reviewed/commented on my story so far and I look forward to talking with you all more!

The events of the previous day were the first thing that came into Axl’s mind when he woke and the same empty feeling settled in his chest. Izzy walking out of his life was not something he had been prepared for and honestly, he felt lost without the man he’d grown up with. Climbing out of bed, he sighed quietly and looked at himself in the mirror of the rickety vanity that sat against the wall closest to him. 

“You can get through today.” He told himself quietly as he moved to his feet to grab a change of clothes before heading into the bathroom to shower and prepare himself for the day. 

When he entered the living room, he was relieved to find that his bandmates were nowhere to be seen. He moved into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hand. Then, suddenly, he remembered Duff and the way he’d rushed to help him. He was grateful for Duff and glad to have him as a friend, Axl just hoped that yesterday’s drama wouldn’t scare him off.

Axl’s problematic existence had a way of chasing away all the people he opened himself up to and allowed himself to become attached to. Why would Duff be any different? Why would Duff want to bother himself with Axl’s problems and the drama that seemed to follow him? 

Just as his thoughts were beginning to consume him and send him to the dark place he tried so hard to stay away from, the phone rang. 

“Yeah? I’m not in the fucking mood.” Axl answered with a sigh, not in the mood to deal with Slash and Steven’s antics or his landlord.

“Well hello to you too.” Duff’s deep voice came through the line causing a small smile to form on the singer’s face.

“Oh, sorry. I thought it was going to be Slash and Steven.” Axl tried his best to sound cheerful, though he knew he was probably failing. “What’s up?”

“I’m outside, come on. We’re going somewhere.” Duff announced.

“You really are a stalker, you know that?” Axl let out a laugh, despite himself. He couldn’t figure why in the world Duff would be outside of his apartment.

“Just come on.” Duff laughed and hung up the phone.

With that, Axl set the phone back on the hook and moved to pull on his shoes before heading outside. He walked down the steps of the apartment building before stopping on the sidewalk and glancing around trying to find Duff. Soon he caught sight of blonde hair and a smile that he’d come to look forward to seeing. 

“Where are we going?” Axl asked as Duff neared him with a mischievous grin. 

“Somewhere.” Duff stated as he motioned for Axl to climb in the waiting car

“Why? Can’t we just stay in? I’m not exactly in the mood to go out anywhere.” Axl sighed as he took a seat in the passenger seat.

“Laying around and sulking is not good for you. You need a friend now and I intend to be that friend.” Duff stated. 

“Are you taking me to a bar?” Axl asked hopefully, wanting nothing more than to sit in a dark bar and drink his sorrows away.

“Even better…I’m taking you somewhere to clear your head and breathe relatively fresh air.” Duff responded as they drove along the busy streets of Los Angeles.

Axl sighed in response and leaned back against his seat, looking out the window. Duff’s cheery demeanor was exhausting him today and it was slowly becoming irritating. Soon Duff pulled the old car into a parking lot at a hiking trail and cut the engine.

“Why hiking?” Axl’s brows furrowed as they both exited the car and head towards the trail entrance.

“Because it’s a quiet place to think and process things.” Duff shrugged as the headed down a path towards their destination. “How are you today? How are you handling things?”

“Look, don’t treat me like I’m some weakling unable to handle emotions on his own.” Axl snapped and walked ahead as best as he could. He didn’t want his emotions being discussed again, didn’t want his walls to fall like they had before. If they did, Axl was sure Duff would grow tired of his insecurities and unstable emotions. He couldn’t lose his best friend.

“I’m trying to help you.” Duff responded in an even, unbothered tone. Duff knew Axl’s instinct to push any and everybody away.

“You’re patronizing me.” Axl responded angrily as he turned on his heel to face Duff, green eyes blazing.

“How the fuck am I patronizing you?” Duff responded, bewildered as he stood his ground. 

“You’re fucking talking to me like I’m a child incapable of handling my own emotions!” Axl shouted, beginning to pace a bit.

“Where the fuck did this even come from?! You were fine a second ago!” Duff was more confused and concerned than he was angry. Axl had seemed willing to talk and be open   
with Duff yesterday, what had changed today? 

“You’re patronizing me to make yourself feel better about your life. You’re a fucking asshole with no friends so you latched on to me and now that our band is fucking falling apart, you’re just taking your frustrations out on me!” Axl wasn’t making any sense now, but he didn’t care. The anger that had welled up in him was spilling over the edge, the rage was irrational but he didn’t care. He didn’t know any other way to handle his emotions.

“I’m not fucking doing anything but trying to be a good friend and if I remember correctly, it was you who was constantly showing up at my door!” Duff was growing angry now, shouting back.

“Fuck you!” Axl was advancing on Duff now, but Duff stood his ground.

“You’re fucking crazy!”

“Then why the fuck do you bother sticking around?! Huh? Do you get a kick out of watching me struggle?! Are you that fucking sadistic? Do you get off on it?” Axl shouted now, shoving Duff. Duff stumbled back but didn’t lose his footing, not moving as Axl turned to walk off.

“You really don’t get it, do you?” Duff called after Axl, shaking his head in disbelief. “Do you honestly think I enjoy seeing you so upset?” Duff was walking after the fuming redhead.

“Get what?! That your life was so boring you relied on my problems to make you feel like your life didn’t suck so much?! That you decided it was easier to listen to me than to be alone?! You’re fucking pathetic! You cling to me like some lost child and it’s annoying!” Axl was in Duff’s face now, tears filling his green eyes. He was trying to push him away, trying to make Duff hate him. He didn’t want to be close to anyone, didn’t want to risk the heartache he was feeling now to ever repeat itself.

“I do it because I love you, you fucking idiot!” Duff shouted back, his voice echoing through the woods as Axl’s shouts of profanities were cut off by his words. Duff took a step back and turned away from Axl, running a hand through his hair.

“What?” Came Axl's quiet and shocked response.

Axl stood there, shocked, tears running down his cheeks and body trembling with the storm of emotions that were swirling around inside him. Suddenly, he hated himself more than he had before. He had spent the last two months speaking of his love for Izzy to a man that had fallen in love with him. To a man that had never once tried to turn him against Izzy or break them up. To a man who had done nothing but comfort him in his time of need, put up with his outbursts, and given him advice. To a man who’d never expected anything in return or asked for any form of payment.

“From the moment I fucking saw you, you’re all I’ve thought about! Your stupid green eyes have haunted my every dream right along with your stupid voice. I hate it because it never fucking ends! I’ve tried everything to move past you, to meet others. But none compared to you! None of them could hold an intelligent conversation, none of them were able to understand my anxiety attacks like you do, and none of them made me feel with the ridiculous joy you fill me with. None of them were you..” Duff’s eyes were full of unsplit tears now as he turned to face Axl. “Do you realize how fucking awful it is to love someone who is completely blind to your feelings towards them?! Fuck you and fuck your laugh and your goddamn eyes." 

Axl’s world was turning upside down now, the surrounding woods were spinning and his breath was caught in his throat. How could he have been so blind to it? How could he not have realized the playful nudges and playful flirting meant something? How could he have been so stupid? 

“You love me?” Axl still couldn’t believe that someone like Duff could ever view him in such a fashion. 

“Yes.” Duff responded quietly and turned his back to Axl, trying to even his breathing. He could feel a panic attack being brought on simply by the heightened tension that had arose between he and the redhead. He paced a bit before eventually calming and turning to look at Axl, worried what his response might be.

“I’m sorry.” The words felt stupid leaving his lips, but Axl knew they needed to be spoken. He took a seat next to Duff and rested his head on the taller man’s trembling shoulder. “I-I just need time to figure myself out.”

“I’m not asking for a chance with you, I’m not asking that you return my feelings.” Duff responded quietly and bit the inside of his cheek as he looked to the ground with furrowed brows. “I-I just didn’t want you to walk out of my life, I wanted you to know that everything I’ve done…I’ve done it for you, not to get something out of it.” 

“I know that. I’m sorry you had to be the target of that episode back there.” Axl kept his head where it was, closing his green eyes to keep the tears threatening to fall at bay, trying to still his trembling body. “I scare myself sometimes because of how irrationally angry and upset I get. I don’t know why I’m like this. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Duff responded after a long silence by turning and wrapping his arms around Axl, arms protectively placed around the smaller male’s shoulders. “Our emotions were running high, I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Did you mean what you said?” Axl asked, feeling stupid the moment it left his mouth.

“Yes, but it wasn’t the way I intended to tell you. I don’t want you to feel pressured to return my feelings now, or ever. You need time to figure it all out and I respect that.” Duff responded, his normal calm demeanor returning.

“We’re still friends though?” Axl’s hopeful response came.

“Of course, we are, you moron.” Duff gently nudged Axl with a smile, hoping to pull Axl from whatever thoughts of self-hatred he was having.

“You’re right, I am a moron.” Axl smiled, glad to see the mood was lightening and the tension was fading. 

“Glad you’ve admitted that much.” Duff grinned and moved before Axl could slap his arm.

The pair finished their hiking trip and returned to the city, Duff dropped Axl off before heading to his own apartment. Things were awkward now that Duff had confessed his feelings, but Axl assured him he would call in a few days and not to worry. Those few days turned into a few weeks and Duff was beginning to wonder if Axl had just given him false hope as a way of letting him down easy. Duff had spent the weeks doing nothing but messing with a few chords on his bass, trying to learn some of the songs Slash had told him to learn. He hoped with each passing day that the phone would ring or that Axl would show, but he was beginning to lose hope. The fight they had had was intense, full of emotions, and Duff didn’t blame Axl for avoiding him.

A change of events came when Duff was awoken in the middle of the night by loud pounding at his door. It was Axl, drenched in the rain that had been pouring all night.

“Axl? Why the hell didn’t you just take a cab? You could get—” He was cut off by Axl pulling him into a kiss, cold hands cupping his cheeks, and the smell of Axl filling his senses. The kiss was slow, soft, careful and unlike anything Duff would have expected from the man who liked to act on impulse. 

“I love you. I’m sorry I was an asshole to you, I’m sorry I hurt you and I didn’t call sooner, I was afraid. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that I’ve loved you since the moment I saw your ridiculous punk get up and heard your stupid voice. I just didn’t think someone as intelligent and as patient as you would ever want someone as opposite of you as I am.” Axl spoke quickly but softly, his hold not letting up on Duff’s t-shirt. “Please forgive me.” 

“Of course, I forgive you.” Duff said as he let the singer in before grabbing a towel from the nearby basket of clothes he had yet to fold. “But I think you need more time to process what it is you’re doing and saying.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Axl could feel the humiliation rising in him from his bold actions a moment before. Had Duff not meant what he said? If he did, why was he telling Axl to think about what was happening?

“You’ve just broken up with Izzy, I’m not looking to be a short-lived rebound. I want to know that you’re saying this from your heart, not from your subconscious telling you that you can’t be alone.” Duff spoke, his eyes not meeting Axl’s. 

“You know what? Fuck you.” Axl threw the towel back at Duff, his voice dripping with venom. Duff looked to Axl just as he was turning on his heels and leaving the apartment again. 

Duff knew better than to go after Axl, knew that it would end in a huge fight where one or both would say things to hurt the other that they didn’t mean. Duff knew that Axl needed his space, no matter how hard it was going to be. Axl needed to process everything that had happened in the last 72 hours before acting on any sort of feelings towards anyone. Duff needed the reassurance that he would not be some rebound fuck that was forgotten about the next day. His feelings for Axl were too strong for him to risk going about this any other way than the right way. No matter how hard it was.


	6. Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Don't worry this isn't the last of these two. I'm going to make this into a series. This is just the end of the first installment. The second installment will be coming soon and I will try to update it weekly/biweekly. The next installment will take place during Guns N' Roses beginnings of fame, it will then go until the disbandment of the original band. The third installment will be set in modern times and follow the original members.

The next few weeks were uneventful for the band, only meeting occasionally to practice but avoiding staying in the same room for too long due to the tension between Axl and Duff. Despite Duff’s apologies, the pair had hardly spoken a word to one another since Axl had stormed out of Duff’s apartment.

Duff spent a majority of his free time drinking alone in his apartment and reading, just trying to pass the time and fill the gap of Axl’s absence. He found in the first few weeks that being away from Axl was not something he was fond of, in fact, it made him rather depressed. He had no energy to go out and try to move on and meet new people, he had no energy to even put forth the effort of practicing the songs that had been written before his entrance into Guns N’ Roses.

Axl wasn’t fairing any better than Duff. He’d been hurt, angry, and humiliated when Duff had turned down his advances. He’d remained in a state of annoyance and anger for several days after the incident, but soon enough the anger had faded and humiliation set in. He’d managed to push Duff away and probably ruined any chance he might have had with the blond. During this separation, Axl found his thoughts returning to Duff. He often thought of the intellectual conversations they shared and the younger male’s musical laugh. He thought of what could have been, what could never be now. He had spent the last few weeks thinking on what Duff had said and had found the younger bass player had been reasonable in his request. But truth be told, Axl hadn’t told Duff he loved him out of fear of being alone. He’d told him because he meant it, he’d just been too stupid to notice it. The butterflies he felt when Duff looked at him smiling, the way his heart skipped a beat when Duff’s eyes landed on his or when he simply walked into a room. Axl missed the way electricity seemed to run through his entire being from a simple touch, he missed the happiness that filled him when he was around Duff. Conflicted on what to do, Axl found the person that was always able to give good advice…Slash.

“Slash? Can I talk to you?” Axl asked the guitarist as he took a seat next to him on the couch.

“Yeah, man. What’s up?” Slash questioned, though he knew it was more than likely something to do with Duff. He’d seen the way the singer and bass player avoided each other like the plague yet looked at each other with a deep yearning to be near one another.

“It’s Duff. I messed up and I don’t know how to go about talking to him and apologizing for it.” Axl explained, biting his lower lip. “He and I have never fought like this, not for this long.”

“Why don’t you just call him?” Slash responded as he lit a cigarette, a brow raising though it was hidden under his mane of curls.

“I…I’m embarrassed I guess. I don’t know what I would say.” Axl sighed and ran a hand through his own hair. “What would you say?”

“I’d tell him the truth, be open about what’s going on, and work it out. Avoiding him is not going to fix the problem.” Slash responded. “Why not go over to his apartment to see him? I know he’s there, we haven’t seen him out at any of his usual places.

“Thanks, Slash. You’re not as nearly stupid as you look.” Axl grinned as he stood, earning a pillow tossed at his head.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck off.” Slash chuckled.

Axl headed for Duff’s apartment, all the while trying to figure out what it was he needed and wanted to say. 

‘Be open about it.’ Slash’s advice rung in his ears.

Axl approached Duff’s apartment and knocked on the door. When the door opened, Axl’s breath caught in his throat and his chest tightened at the sight of Duff. He hadn’t seen Duff’s hair down at practice, his hair was longer and messier making the soft, delicate features of Duff’s face that much more striking. 

“Can I come in?” Axl asked as he bit his lower lip nervously.

“Yeah, come on in.” Duff offered a small, awkward smile to his bandmate. Axl entered the apartment and turned to Duff once the door was closed.

“I wanted to talk…wanted to apologize.” Axl stated, his stomach churning nervously. 

“Apologize?” Duff’s brow rose.

“For being a dick to you. I was angry at your rejection and embarrassed. But I thought about what you said and I know you were only saying it because it was true. I didn’t need to jump from one relationship to another, I needed time to take it all in.” 

“And what did you find?” Duff asked, he could feel his throat tightening. He was worried Axl had changed his mind about how he felt, decided it was just the fear of being alone that had pushed Axl to kiss him.

“That I love you. That I don’t want to be away from you like this again.” Axl said, his voice unwavering and eyes on Duff. He wanted to make sure Duff knew he meant what he was saying.

Just as Axl was beginning to worry that Duff might not believe him, Duff was closing the space between them and leaning down to press a kiss to Axl’s lips. The kiss was just as soft and electrifying as it had been when Axl had showed up in the middle of the night. But this time, Duff wasn’t caught off guard. This time, Duff was deepening the kiss and Axl’s hands were cupping the taller male’s cheeks. This time it was right. 

“I forgive you.” Duff spoke softly as he broke the kiss and pulled Axl into a hug, his long arms going around Axl’s shoulders.

“I love you and I mean it.” Axl mumbled into the fabric of Duff’s shirt, eyes closing as he enjoyed the closeness and warmth Duff was providing.

“I love you too.”

This was the beginning. This was right, this was real. This was the calm before the storm.


End file.
